i like to be with me when im with you

i love drew holcomb and the neighbors.  if you haven't listened to them go now.  download all of their stuff on itunes and thank me later.  they're great.  and their concert is even better.

anyways...one of my favorite songs of theirs is "i like to be with me when im with you."  here's some of the lyrics...

"with you i can be myself, with you i dont have to be somebody else, its like puttin on my favorite pair of shoes, i like to be with me when im with you."

those lyrics remind me of how blessed i am that i can sing this in my marriage.  that was a little cheesy.  i take it back.  but really.

i am myself with jonathan.  i am overanxious way too often, i cry too easy, i have the strangest sense of humor, i freak out about being 2 minutes late, i dance obnoxiously in the kitchen, and i make jokes before we go to sleep that makes jonathan look at me like "really, you just said that?"  and i love it.  i love being married to someone who sees every part of who i am...freakshow and all.  and i like to be with me, when im with him.

dancing with my girls

so its been a while since ive blogged, but i was inspired to start back up.  the easiest thing for me to write about is my nieces, so we'll start there :)

as i've mentioned before these three girls (caroline, campbell, and kennedy) are responsible for a large portion of the joy in my life.  i thank God for them often.

we do a lot of fun things together.  each one of them likes different to do different things with me.  caroline loves crafts - unfortunately aunt stace is terrible at arts and crafts - but we still have fun doing them together. 

campbell loves to climb on chairs and push her baby in her stroller.  so we do that.

kennedy is just a wee one and she mostly likes to be held by her mama and eat so she does that, but i can't wait til we have our own fun things to do too.

however, the one thing that both of the older girls enjoy doing is dancing.  if you know me, you know im not one to dance in front of many people.  that actually sounds miserable.  ill dance with jonathan in the kitchen and in the car with gloria, but thats nearly the extent of it.

but when it comes to my girls, i dance.  and we dance a lot.  we dance every time we get together.  we dance to some of the regulars - cupid shuffle, the peanut butter jelly song, and single ladies every time.  we've recently started "dancing" to going on a bear hunt and that's pretty fun/exhausting too...except campbell thinks there's really a bear coming so she quietly exits the room without ruckus right before we get to the cave and "see two eyes and a big furry body."

however, i think my absolute favorite is our new tradition.  and this is to dance to "movin like bernie."  you can check out this dance here.

i actually have a video of my girls doin the bernie...but i am still trying to figure out how to get it uploaded...so check back for that.

but i love this.  i love my girls.  i love that this is something we do.

a surprise. like no other.

i love my puppy.  we got a new boxer back in may - we named her tilley.  she really brings so much joy to my life.  she makes me question my parenting skills - i have a hard time punishing her for her cute misbehaviors.  jonathan has an easier time with this :)

so lately we've been working on giving her a little more freedom.  we started small.  we have tried to leave her out of her crate in the house while we leave.  we started with quick trips to the store.  then we moved to about an hour.  then to about three hours.  she's done great.  no problems whatsoever.  she generally is asleep on the couch when we come back from leaving her.  nothing out of place.  she is just snoozin.

so last night we gave her another night of freedom.  i was goin out with my small group girls (love them like crazy), and jonathan was going out with the small group boys.  jonathan came home while i was still at supper, and then he left about an hour before i'd get home.  so he left tilley out - nothing weird about that.  

so i kept chewin on chips, and jonathan enjoyed some/a lot of food with the guys.  then i headed home.  excited to see my pup.  so i walked in the door...and did the typical really weird pup talk that i do to her...before i could see her i started talkin "ohh hii darlin, whatchu doin, oh i bet you are all curled up sweepin arent you, dats cause you so fweet, datss a good girl sweepin while momy and daddy are gone..."  i wish i was kidding about this part...but i'm not.  THEN...i came into the living room.  

this is when i nearly fell out.  i walked in to see our brand new leather couch destroyed.  yes. destroyed.  we bought a new set of leather couches about 2 months ago - first of all you should know jonathan and i are super frugal.  the only thing we spend money on is going out to eat - and even that is to a mexican restaurant down the street.  so we splurged about two months ago, on a gorgeous couch and loveseat.

so you can imagine my horror.  i walk in to see one of the two couch cushions standing straight in the air with what looked like confetti all over the living room floor.  there was pink stuffing there was white stuffing there was green stuffing there was tan stuffing...EVERYWHERE.  pouring out of the couch cushion, that was ripped, with the zipper eaten, and the leather scratched with what like a giant serving fork. 

insert:  stacey freaks out.  grabs her phone, calls jonathan and says "i have really bad news."  in hindsight that wasn't smart to say - if anyone ever called and told me that i'd probably reach for a xanax.  but he was calm.  "oh what is it?"  "tilley destroyed the couch."  "well, its nothin we cant fix."  HUH?!?!?!?!?!  sweet sweet husband...realizing my distress realized it wasn't allowed for him to be in distress too.  then we hung up.

then i called back.  losing it.  then i called mom.  then i called gloria.  then i texted my bossfriend.  then i put on my big girl panties and cleaned it up. 

this is what it is like to have a new puppy and new furniture and new freedom.  a disaster.  hope y'all enjoyed this...it's really a surprise like no other.

my mama + eternal life

when i was younger i had some serious ocd issues.  i would like to contribute about 90% of these issues to having two older brothers.  i had major skin rashes on my hands because one of my brothers ( i wont name names) told me i'd get worms if i was near the family dog and didn't wash my hands before i put my hands anywhere near my face.  so i washed them obsessively until my hands were raw.

i was told a few times i was adopted.  i thankfully never believed that.

i had a night time routine that included checking under the bed, in the closet, and leaving all of the lights in the room on...why?  because my brothers hid under the bed, in the closet, and on the roof outside my window (who does that?) to scare their little sister.  

all that to say, i had a few ocd...slash several ocd behaviors.

one of my biggest "things" was my complete attachment to my mom.  it wasn't anything she did, it was me.  i wanted to be with her.  actually, i was a helicopter daughter...if you've ever heard of that :)

mom is the director of a preschool, and so every year she had to go to a seminar series in Greensboro with all of her teachers.  she had to stay one night over night....and well that wasn't ok. I would stress about this beginning in January (or earlier), and the series was in september.  you would have thought she was going off to war and would be in the barracks of afghanistan for a year.  she eventually had to give up her trip :).

i also constantly worried that something would happen to mom.  like unhealthy worry.  so this is where the good part of the story is.

my family has always been a family of faith.  a faith in Jesus Christ.  a faith in Heaven for all believers in Christ.  praise God for that...i'd be a solid mess right now if I wasn't raised in the faith.

so after probably the 100th time of me telling mom i was worried she was going to die, mom decided to put my mind at rest.  how did she do this?  simple, tell me about eternal life.

mom was biblical i'm sure, and told me about "eternal life," and how God could give that to us if we prayed.  there was probably more to the story than that, but that's what i grasped.  

suddenly, peace for my young brain.  i no longer had to worry about mom, because all i had to do was pray for her to have eternal life.  yep, you see where this is going.  i didn't worry anymore, because i prayed my heart out all day long (seriously, several times a day for years) that mom would have eternal life.  i knew it was a gift that God gave us.  and i knew I was going to pray for mom to get this awesome gift so she'd just live forever.  it was great.  mom, living for ever, like tuck everlasting.  that's what i was praying for.

somewhere in all of this i missed the small part that yes as Christians we do have eternal life, but part of that life took place in heaven :).  ahh, i know this now but i'm so glad i didn't then.  i know God must've smiled when i prayed for this so often...and i am blessed that my heart was guarded. 

we're a pair really.  she gets me.  she gets that i am just flat out in a bad mood sometimes, and i just need to let it roll out.  she gets that when i'm upset there's probably a good reason to be.  she lets me just be.  whatever that is, i can be that.  if it's hyper i'm that.  if it's dancing around the house and singing that's fine too.  if it's crying she's there to listen.  if it's frustration i can let it all out - it wont change a thing about her love for me.  she's a huge blessing...and i am thankful that she has eternal life ahead, and because of her so do i.

kitchen make over

when we moved into our house there was quite a bit of work to be done.  an old lady named daisy lived in the house...and well, she decorated like a daisy.

i'm talking about magnolia wallpaper.  emerald walls.  burgundy walls.  flower wallpaper in the kitchen.  atrocious.

with that said, we've done a lot of fun things to help change the look of the house.  we're not really good decorators, so we've had to rely on the painting, furniture, and the kitchen :)

so the kitchen.  the kitchen started with flower wallpaper ( i wish i had pictures, but i got it down so quickly the camera couldn't catch it).  then it had terrible white laminant counter tops, with pot and pan burn marks..ooh pretty.  and the cabinets.  well here are the cabinets...

terrible colored wood.  even worse gold knobs.  nothing great about this.

but now.  the cabinets have been painted.  and new knobs have been ordered.  jonathan put new countertops in and they look awesome.

but as for the painting, and antiquing, and new nobs, i'm proud to say this was all me :).  so here they are...

so im a little impressed.  i love them really.  they lighten up the whole room.  and i love them.  and home projects.  i love those in general.  so go paint your cabinets.  antique them.  and order knobs real cheap from overstock.

goodnight.

this one's for the girls

its been a while blogfriends.  i must admit i actually forgot my password to log in to blog - thats sad.  sorry :).  im back.


this blog is about my favorite girls in the world - my nieces...and since i haven't blogged recently, you should know that there are now THREE of them :)


i completely remember each of them being born.  i remember caroline's preciously high pitched little voice. i remember her hands always being active and pushing out from the little blanket.  i remember falling so completely in love with her from day one.  


i remember campbell - i remember her looking different than her sissy. i remember her making these little noises right after she was born and caroline mocked them thinking they were having a conversation.  i remember holding campbell and just being so excited for who she would become.


and now we have kennedy.  sweet baby kennedy.  kennedy was a surprise for us - we didn't know if she would be kennedy or griffin, a boy or a girl.  she came to the world when she was ready, not when doctors said her due date would be.  what i remember about kennedy is just being blown away by how pretty a baby she is.  she's the prettiest baby i've ever seen.  i sent her picture around to my coworkers, and one said she resembled an angel - a complete answer to the question is there a creator?


i love these girls.  i love them in a completely different way than any one else on earth.  i love being with them. i don't see wrong in them.  id do anything for them.  it's perfectly reasonable to buy 5 ring pops for caroline because thats how many she thinks she needs.  i love them.


i also love music.  specifically drew holcomb and the neighbors.  if you haven't heard them, go download every song they have on your itunes and tell me thank you.


so i was visiting drew holcomb's site the other day looking for when they'd be coming to raleigh.  and i came across a music video.  a new music video of theirs.  ive heard the song a thousand times, and i love it.  but i never knew where he was coming from when he wrote it.  so on the front page of his site, he explained it.  


he wrote the song to his nieces and nephew.  it's called "live forever."  he fell completely head over heels in love with them and wanted only the very best and purest for their lives.  he wanted to advise them and hold them from this life.  he wanted them to experience the best.  he explains it better than i can, but i completely related.  


that's what i want for these girls.  for them to know Jesus Christ as their personal savior, and at a young age...for them to laugh until they can't breathe...for them to just dance around the room (with their auntie) and love hearing the music that's playing...for them to find love.  to stay away from evil and not let it even tempt their hearts.  i love them, sincerely, and completely.


so here's the song, and the video...and here's to you girls...i love you.

http://drewholcomb.com/  (scroll down to read his article first) then just click play on the "live forever" video.

i settled for a slowdown

i'm the kind of person who doesn't slow down.  not because i have so many things going on all the time, but because i feel better when im busy.  i dont really know how to slow down - it feels weird.

but today, i slowed down.  its been a fantastic day.  i haven't been outside for more than 10 minutes total, but thats what i needed.  so what have i been doing?

ive been home with this sweet girl today.

this is sweet tilley.  she was spayed yesterday, and so i took the day off to hang out with her.  i picked her up this morning, and she was SOO excited.  shes subdued and sweet today.  

its forced me to just stop for the day and hang out with her.  and its been great.  shes been asleep on my lap today.  we watched a movie.  i fed her lots of chicken (her favorite).  we took a nap.

i guess her medicine is working well :).  its been a great day - a day of slowing down.