something i've been thinking about

i think a lot of time i allow myself to sin in being very legalistic.  wow that's a bit of a bold statement.  but that's the truth.  i'm one to compare myself.  i'm one to not run a red light when there are no cars coming, the light is stuck for literally 7 minutes, and it's annoying - because i could get in trouble if i did it.  it can cross over to my spiritual life, and that's where it gets sinny - yes i just said sinny - sinful i suppose would be a better word.  the positive at least is that i recognize this about myself, and i can bring that to God and deal with it there.

however, something's been on my mind related to my quiet times.  i guess i always feel guilty or bad if my devotions don't come first (literally, as in time of day first).  if it's not a devotion first thing in the morning, if it's not first thing when i come home, if i'm reading a book during the day rather than reading my Bible.  if i'm on the computer doing useless things during the day and not devotions.  all of these things really tap my brain a lot.  i've felt guilty for doing my devotions or quiet times with God at night.  

but i've been praying about this a lot, and i've really come to realize something.  God does not dictate when i need to stop and read the Word.  i am to be with Him throughout the whole day - whether i'm working, whether i'm at the grocery store, whether i'm exercising, whether im babysitting - whatever i'm doing i'm with Him all day.  

back to my devotions.  i generally do them at night.  the last thing before i go to bed.   and i've had bad thoughts towards that sometimes, but i've come to realize that that time is sweet.  it's sweet with me and God.  i'm not one to fall asleep in 2 seconds.  i'm not a hard sleeper.  i'm not one to just lay down and all things in my mind drift away.  i'm not that way at all.

so at night.  after i've washed my face, brushed my teeth, ran like a nut all day long, done wedding planning, relaxed, messed on the computer, hung with friends, etc.  i can actually stop.  stop completely.  when everyone's asleep.  there isn't noise.  and it's really just me and God.  in the still.  and i've come to accept that that time is sweet, and that's when my dates with the Lord are.  and i'm praising God for that today - not feeling guilty that i don't start my day off in devotions.  so go spend time with God.  whenever it is, it's special.  and it's your time with Him.