Advice

This is a quick post for those who are engaged or nearly engaged.  I have a top ten list of advices (?) to make the process more joyful and less stressful.

1.  If you plan your wedding outside, plan an equally enjoyable/beautiful option inside in case of bad weather.  Luckily we didn't have to go to plan b - but our plan b was not beautiful or "us" at all, and it made the possibility of having to move there stressful.

2.  Buy your favors or contribute to a charity instead.  We made preserves and while I'm sure the guests liked them it was an incredible amount of work.  Buying sometimes works out cheaper anyways.

3.  Do not use a travel assistance program to book flights (i.e. Expedia).  Book directly with the flights as they are much more willing to work with you if changes come about unexpectedly.  Expedia no habla ingles - es muy frustratingo.

4.  Unpack your gifts as you get them.  The idea of coming home to a sweet little house and unpacking your gifts together seems so downright joyful.  While we appreciate our gifts, it would be much more enjoyable to open them and put them away as we got them.  

5.  Splurge.  We splurged on our honeymoon and after our honeymoon on "nesting" things.  We ate where we wanted to, we spent money on things we would not normally, and we enjoyed it.  The honeymoon is not a time to stress about money - enjoy the vacation.

6.  Don't Worry.  I worried for a good 8 months/23 years about walking down the aisle.  Pray for peace, and trust that walking down the aisle will not be nearly as nerve racking as you had imagined.  Enjoy that part.

7.  If you're a girl, take two days off of work for when you get back from the honeymoon.  You will need it for name changing crap that is not cute.  The DMV and social security works have made a sport out of being mean - look forward to that.  Laugh at them - but don't let them see you.

8.  Never tell an engaged couple that "it's such a sweet time."  You're lying and you know it.  Engagement is not sweet.  There is a lot of crying, a lot of raised blood pressure, a lot of worrying, a lot of to do lists, a lot of nit picky details, a lot of lust (oww owww), and a lot of waiting for the big day - that to me is not sweet.  Marriage is sweet.

9.  Don't tell people where you're going on your honeymoon until you have planned it.  People will give their opinions on everything you come up with, and they'll tell you what's wrong with every place.  Book your honeymoon, then if they ask you can tell them.  It's like baby names.  Once the baby is born and has a name people can't say "eww i dont like that."

10.  Adjust.  Get ready to adjust.  You can know your spouse for 10 years, but married life is different.  Living together is different.  Be willing to compromise.  Be willing to be wrong and say you're wrong.  It is an adjustment.

And that is the rest of the story.  By a married woman.