wow. i'm so slammed against a wall with conviction right now. my soul is weeping, literally. i feel almost nauseated.
i am doing a bible study with a group of awesome girls. we decided on Crazy Love by Francis Chan. if you don't have it or you haven't read it, go get it. you will not come up short on this one. it will turn your whole mind around. it will make you think, make you change, make you seek.
i just read my two chapters for bible study and i'm sitting here moved. i've talked to God about it, and i needed to get it out there to anyone else who reads this - five of you or five hundred of you. my heart is busting.
In Revelations 3:15-18 Jesus says this...
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are luke-warm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing." But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined int he fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see."
"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are luke-warm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing." But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined int he fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see."
the truth is. i am lukewarm. and i feel sick about it. i've read this verse numerous times, but it resonated in me, and i want so badly to trust that this feeling of grossness will not vanish but rather i'll be moved to change. to action. to passion. to become a sold out Jesus Freak.
lukewarm for me means awkwardness or fear of a conversation takes priority over sharing the Word of God with someone who doesn't know Jesus. lame.
lukewarm for me means putting God into a pocket of my life rather than having Him reside in all aspects of my life, all day long. sick.
lukewarm for me means my faith is not bringing about action, like in James 2:17. not right.
how do we get being "in love" with a person or get society's demands for us and we follow them - but we don't get Christ - our SAVIOR. from HELL nonetheless. we don't run after Him yearning for more, and dying to tell others about Him. we're not running to the Word, we're squeezing it into the day. i'm not sold out for Him.
but i'm going to do something about it. and i don't know how yet. it's an issue of the heart. but i know God wants more of me, and i am so filled with conviction that i want that.
i'm ready for this:
"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22
No comments:
Post a Comment